The Missing Link in Personal Growth
I’ve always been a dreamer with big goals and plans for my life.
When I was a kid, I knew what I wanted very early on. I knew how many kids I wanted, the kind of work I pictured myself doing, even the house I dreamed of living in. I used to sit in front of my grandma’s house and draw what my future home would look like, the rooms, the layout.. all the details.
At 17, I could articulate what I hoped my life would become with surprising clarity. I actually still have a copy of a fully developed life plan that I wrote back then. I was aware of my desires, my direction and my vision.
And dreaming mattered - It gave me real direction and focus that motivated me early on.
It gave me desire.
It helped me understand that where I was wasn’t where I wanted to stay.
Unfortunately, the dreams only got me so far. After getting married, having kids and everything that life brings to early adulthood, I found myself exhausted, overwhelmed and discouraged. Would I have what it took to accomplish those desires in my heart? When life demanded everything from me, how would I stay motivated towards my vision?
You see, dreaming helps us see beyond our current circumstances. It helps us imagine something different. It’s where vision, planning, goal-setting, and hope begin.
But dreaming alone isn’t what gets us to the finishline.
Dreaming helps us define what we want, but execution is where the rubber meets the road.
Execution means that we don’t just think about it, we take action.
In order to be successful, execution often needs to happen in the midst of challenges, exhaustion and even dips in motivation.
So how do we do the real internal work that will bring our dreams to life?
From Dreaming to Execution
If we want to move from dreaming to being, we need a second life tool.
Being aware of where we are and where we want to go is only half the battle. We also need something called: Emotional Intelligence.
Dreaming shows us what could be, but it is Emotional intelligence gives us tools to make those ideas a reality.
Emotional intelligence helps us evaluate the strengths and weaknesses that will either propel us forward or quietly prevent us from hitting our goals.
It helps us understand how our emotions influence:
our decisions
our reactions
our consistency
our ability to stay the course when things get hard
Emotional intelligence is not about just staying calm all the time. It’s about staying aware of what we’re feeling, understanding what that emotion is signaling, and knowing what we need to adjust so we can keep moving forward with intention.
Perfect dreams and outlines plans are nice, but real life will force us to navigate challenges along the way.
Sometimes those challenges are drastic changes we never expected. Sometimes they’re quieter but just as real, like physical limitations, exhaustion, low motivation, mental overload, or a season where we don’t have the capacity we used to.
This is where emotional intelligence becomes the missing link.
Dreams gives us vision. Emotional intelligence helps us win.
Why This Matters in the Brain and Body
Here’s the part I want us to understand without overcomplicating it: When we experience stress or uncertainty, our brain and body respond quickly. Research shows that the emotional centers of the brain activate faster than the rational ones.
That means we can have insight and still struggle to respond the way we want in the moment.
So when we say things like, “I know what I want,” but we still feel stuck, it doesn’t automatically mean we’re lazy or undisciplined.
It often means we need better emotional skills for real life.
Skills like:
learning to lean into the ebs & flows of our energy levels throughout the day
knowing how we can best stay focused when feeling overwhelmed
thinking thoroughly through our responses and reactions
adjusting the strategy without abandoning the goal
Emotional intelligence helps us navigate hitting our goals in real life, not just in our dreams.
Growth Requires the Ability to Pivot
One of the most overlooked skills in personal growth is adaptability.
Life does not grow in straight lines. What we want at one stage may shift. The timing may change. The path may look different than we imagined at 17, 27, or even last year.
Emotional intelligence allows us to pivot without losing ourselves.
It helps us ask:
What is this situation requiring of me now?
What response aligns with who I’m becoming, not just who I’ve been?
What do I need to adjust so I can keep striving toward the goal without burning out?
Without emotional skills, unmet goals can become frustrating. We know what we want, but we don’t know how to adjust when life doesn’t cooperate.
With emotional skills, growth becomes flexible and possible instead of fragile.
If you’ve ever been aware of what you want but unsure how to navigate the changes required to get there, I want you to know you’re not alone.
We don’t need to dream less, we need better emotional tools to support it.
That’s what emotional intelligence offers, and it’s exactly where this work begins.
